Chapter 9

Episode 9 Strange Guy (2)

When I snapped back to reality, I found myself dragged into the Emergency Room doctor's office. Inside the office, I stood there like a criminal.

“What’s the deal? Han Hyeonjae? Was that clumsy act you showed until now all just acting?!”

Standing in front of me was the 4th-year Chief Teacher, Lee Minjae.

…Fuck. Why am I doing this here? My mind went blank.

It was right after I had sent the Ciguatera patient upstairs and was finishing up most of my backlogged charting.

‘Teacher Han, the Chief Teacher is looking for you.’

With that one word, my heart sank to the floor. I firmly believed that the incident where I cursed at Senior Choi Sumin had finally reached the Chief Teacher's ears. However, the first words out of the chief’s mouth completely defied my expectations.

“Answer me!!! Han Hyeonjae!!! Why did you act so clueless until now!!! Huh?!”

The chief pressed me hard, grabbing my shoulders. His tone was out of whack.

“…Sorry.”

“Sorry? You're sorry now? Vexas Syndrome! And what? Ciguatera? Does it make sense that a 1st-year, and our EM 1st-year at that, caught two rare cases in a row that even Internal Medicine couldn't catch?!”

It was understandable for him to find it absurd. For the past few months, the chief had been busy covering up all sorts of mistakes I made. When a drunk patient grabbed me by the collar, or when the guardian lodged a complaint because I failed the IV line more than five times, the person who stepped in for me was this senior.

Lee Minjae's scream continued.

“I trusted you, Hyunjae…! I believed that even if you caused some trouble, you were a kind-hearted and quiet guy! But how could you pull a surprise hidden camera prank like this on me! My heart! My heart can't take this!”

“No, well, Teacher…”

The moment I tried to make some excuse, the 4th-year Fellow Teacher, Sung-hoon Yoo, who was lying like a corpse on the old sofa in the corner of the doctor's office looking at his cellphone, spoke up without moving an inch.

“Hey, Minjae. Stop it now and sit down. You're making a scene.”

“Shut up, Sung-hoon Yoo! Right now, I've returned to my pure passion from back when I wanted to major in theater and film, and I'm cornering Hyunjae! The method actor inside me is waking up!”

The chief shouted, but Sung-hoon Yoo just snorted.

“Bullshit. What theater and film? Maybe a comedian, though.”

“That bastard is really….”

The chief snapped at Sung-hoon Yoo once, then turned his head back to me.

“Anyway, Hyunjae. Tell me honestly. It's one of two things.”

“Was the Han Hyeonjae who couldn't even properly get a single IV line until now, getting chewed out, and wandering the hallway with clueless, unfocused eyes all an act? Or are you just horribly clumsy but have a freakish style where your head is specialized only for Internal Medicine?”

An act, or a freak? I couldn't answer.

I couldn't exactly say, ‘One day, I suddenly started seeing an internet community where dead doctors gather, and I cheated from there.’ But I couldn't say it was an act either. Because until just a few hours ago, I really was a soulless, drowning 1st-year nobody among the overflowing patients.

What kind of answer should I give to safely end this bizarre interrogation? A brilliant method-acting doctor, or a half-baked genius?

Excluding the ugly truth that ‘I am actually a cheating piece of shit,’ there were only two paths I could choose to survive.

First, the legendary acting doctor. The setup where I am actually a fully realized, overpowered genius who can do everything, but I've been acting clueless to maintain the hospital's hierarchy and peace, and to show humility as a rookie. This is a crazy bastard. The moment I choose this setup, I will be crowned the ultimate sociopath of the doctor's office. Rumors like ‘Is that guy the crazy bastard? The one who told the chief with his own mouth that he's a genius?’ would follow me around.

Second, a half-baked genius with useless hands. The setup where my brain is brilliant, but my physical skills—meaning my clinical procedure skills—remain strictly at a 1st-year level. This is at least realistic. There are definitely people in the world who are well-versed in theory but have terrible hand coordination. Of course, I might be mocked for having broken hands for the rest of my life, which is a fatal weakness for an EM doctor who needs to perform direct treatments in emergencies. But at least I wouldn't be treated like a crazy bastard.

Fuck, choosing the former means giving up on being human. Right, since things have turned out this way, let's lock in the concept firmly.

“I actually studied insanely hard!!!!”

I decided to survive as a nerdy character who is clumsy but works hard and only has a good brain. At my shout, the chief's eyes narrowed.

“Oh, is that so? Studied? Not just studying, but insanely hard?”

His voice held a half-and-half mix of suspicion and anticipation.

“Yes! That's right!”

“Even rare diseases? You memorized every textbook inside out, even things like Vexas or Ciguatera that you might see only once in a lifetime, is that what you're saying?”

“YES!!!!!!”

Almost like Pavlov's dog, I was mechanically shouting affirmations to his questions.

“Really? Well, that's great then. From now on, let's have Teacher Han take care of all the internal medicine diseases that come into our hospital's Emergency Room. We won't even need to attach a senior, staff, or Fellow Teacher to you, right?”

…? What? No seniors attached?

Seniors are tough to approach, but does that mean I can't even go to the fellows and staff who always give awesome answers? Wait, could the chief just decide that on his own in the first place? It shouldn't be possible. Can he?

“…Yes?”

For a moment, I doubted my ears. What did he just say?

“I beg your pardon?”

“No, you said you studied insanely hard. You diagnosed things that even a 3rd-year didn't know right off the bat. If you're at that level, shouldn't you be able to see and diagnose most internal medicine diseases on your own?”

Cold sweat poured down my spine like a waterfall. This crazy man was testing me. If I answered “Yes, that's right!” here, I would literally be saddled with all kinds of internal medicine patients starting tomorrow. Without the help of the Gallery, I might kill a patient because I couldn't even distinguish between simple gastroenteritis and pancreatitis. Of course, this was a bit of an exaggeration, but either way, there was no guarantee the Gallery would always provide answers quickly 24 hours a day. I needed insurance too.

“A-At all! Senior! That's just because I only looked at books, so knowledge and actual clinical experience are different stories! I still need the rich experience and wisdom of you seniors….”

As I desperately scrambled for excuses, the chief finally couldn't hold it in and burst into laughter.

“It's a joke, a joke. Look at this guy's face turning white.”

The chief tapped my shoulder and said, “I know, I know. It's a trait of guys like you. Brilliant brains but chicken-hearted due to a lack of real-world experience. Actually, I was like that too. Back when I was a 1st-year, I saw an EKG with a newly developed LBBB (*Left Bundle Branch Block)…”

“That story again?”

Sung-hoon Yoo, who was lying on the sofa, muttered as if he were sick of it. The chief flared up and shouted.

“Hey, it's a fact that I became the star of the ER back then! Everyone thought it was a Myocardial Infarction and was about to use thrombolytic agents, but I alone shouted LBBB and saved the patient!”

Senior Sung-hoon Yoo just shook his head instead of answering. Watching the two of them converse, I thought to myself. This man is a genuinely crazy person too. Especially a person crazy about EKGs. The chief was a sort of EKG pervert who could ghost-like diagnose all kinds of freakish and atypical cases through them.

What a farce—a fake genius who cheated off a Gallery trying to show off in front of a real genius. A harsh reality check washed over me.

After the commotion settled, Lee Minjae looked back at me with a serious face.

“Anyway, Hyunjae. You're going to get very tired from now on.”

“Pardon?”

“Do you know how fast a rumor spreads? Especially in a cramped hospital floor like ours. It probably already spread everywhere that 'a diagnosis ghost has entered as a 1st-year in Emergency Medicine'.”

The chief made a cup of instant mix coffee, handed it to me, and continued.

“Soon, the interns will come running to you to ask questions. They'll say, ‘Teacher, please look at this EKG,’ ‘Teacher, this patient's lab results are strange, what could it be?’ Why? Because they're terrified of getting chewed out like dogs by a senior like me or Sung-hoon if they ask and don't know. But you're different. They thought you were the same clumsy 1st-year who was only slightly better than an intern, but suddenly you became a genius. You're the best window to get the right answer without the risk of getting scolded.”

“….”

“It won't just be the interns. Your junior Jihoon and the other 1st-years will be the same. Before they notify the professor, seniors, or Fellow Teachers about a patient's condition, they'll come to you first and ask. They'll say, ‘Hyunjae, I think this patient has this, what do you think?’ because they want to double-check one more time. You're going to become a human Up-to-date.”

I couldn't say anything.

I had only gotten two diagnoses right, but in return, I was on the verge of becoming the unofficial consultant for all the junior residents in the entire Emergency Medicine department. Unaware of the turmoil inside me, the chief, with an innocent expression, tapped my shoulder and beamed.

“Brace yourself, the new star of our Emergency Room.”